Know Your Rights: Ninja Weapons

Once again the season is upon us and somewhere amid the i-phones, X-Boxes, DVDs, DVRs and HD-LCDs lies that perfect gift for that perfect someone. And while the loathsome markets of the big box stores woo our woeful wallets, sometimes nothing communicates the spirit of charity and holiday cheer like a brand new pair of nunchucks. Sure, the ancient weapons of war aren't the best present for everyone, but then again, for some, nothing quite conveys the message of sacred peace like two twin-tiger-hook swords. Perhaps there is a special D & D cleric in your life, someone who would appreciate a new mace or short staff. Maybe that special someone is a ninja and despite her fleeting presence and shadowy nature you still want to show her that she is your favorite little blonde assassin. However getting those shuriken, or "throwing stars" for your lovable kuroichi might prove to be just as risky as loving a ninja is itself.

In the conservative utopia of this great commonwealth of Virginia there happens to be extensive legislation regarding the distribution, possession, carrying and concealment of items of the aforementioned nature. So, in the case that pink bunny slippers simply won't do, be advised that in this state the sword of legislation is broad.

For instance, it is illegal to possess with the intent to sell, trade or even barter items such as throwing stars, metal knuckles, blackjacks, whip sticks, switchblades or similar projectile blades. Oh, and if you are caught with one of these, the law views your mere possession as prima facie evidence of an intent to sell, so you're screwed there, too (VA Code Section § 18.2-311).

As far as buying your favorite Shoalin monk a new halberd or pair of melon hammers please be advised that the Virginia State Code of regulations doesn't clearly, or at least readily define whether these exotic weapons of brutal warfare are legal to possess much less carry. Insomuch, it may be carefully reasoned that The Old Dominion hasn't really been given the need to clarify this gray area and so the permissibility concerning the possession of such items, if not strictly prohibited by the previous restrictions, is implied.

There is, however good news for all those reborn Bruce Lee's out there. While Bowie knives, daggers, three section staffs, nunchucks, fighting chains, razors, slingshots, and machetes (presumably including swords) are explicitly illegal to conceal, it would seem that they are not illegal to possess. That is not to say that one can get away with walking down the street with a pair of nunchucks whizzing around people's heads, just that if one wanted to take his chances of swinging those things around inside the house, aside from the flying glass and teeth, he should be safe (§ 18.2-308).

On the other hand, maybe your significant-other relishes the era of traditional Japanese feudal lordship and just has to have an authentic katana with companion sword to feel complete. As far as research indicates, possessing a sword is legal, even carrying one isn't necessarily deemed illegal (§ 18.2-282.1). It is however strictly against the law to brandish or point any weapon with an exposed blade over 12 inches in length in a manner such as to intimidate a person or group of persons or to handle it in a manner that communicates that intent, that is unless it is in justifiable self-defense. So as long as your philosophy of pluralism isn't "There can be only one," ye Highlanders are safe.

For the more practically minded there is always the old standby of a pocketknife. The 411 is that Bowie knives, for all the frontiersmen out there, are legal as long as they are sheathed and not concealed. However it is explicitly illegal to intentionally conceal any fixed blade knife or dagger. This prohibition also includes weapons designed to camouflage their true nature, such as swords fitted into canes. Folding blades despite the whole blade length mythology that floats around are legal as long as you are not committing a violent crime and are not on any school property. Blades on school grounds have to be less than three inches. Unlike switchblades, the open-assist models known as Kershaw knives have been deemed legal, as they require the person to initiate the deployment of the blade.

For the plaid clad deer hunters in your life, there is also good news. Machine guns (though inexplicably not throwing stars) are legal as long as they are registered with the state police, which is certainly good news for anyone who has ever been assaulted by meth-ed out gangland elk (§ 18.2-295). Similarly, for all you medieval blokes, crossbows, perhaps one of the most lethal weapons of all, can be purchased by practically anyone, not just the physically challenged—which, used to be the case. Now, any warrior princess can romp around the woods with her sexually suspect friend shooting bad guys.

Whatever decision you make this holiday season remember it's not always the thought that counts. Romantics, gifting a lump of coal and claiming it will one day be a diamond, doesn't count. Guys, buying a thong for yourself and performing a sexy impromptu striptease for her, doesn't count. Parents, underwear doesn't count. Protect yourself from buying embarrassing gifts no one will use by shopping wisely, and remember, sometimes the best gift is one you make yourself, then again sometimes the best gift is made by a kid in a factory in China. Whatever the case have a happy holiday season and may you all have a crazy kung fu Christmas.